TO SHAVE OR NOT TO SHAVE

THAT IS THE QUESTION?!

As we move into warmer seasons this is a very touchy subject, both personally and publicly. We live in a world where society expects “WOMEN” to look and act in certain ways. So before I begin this post I ask you to ask yourself “Do I shave because I like seeing and feeling my skin smooth and hairless?”

I had to ask myself this question when my young 10 year old asked, “Why do you shave?” How did we get on the subject? My baby girl is growing and changing. She asked me to show her how to shave. I told her that there was no need to rush this stage of her life. At that moment, I realized I had not chosen to shave my body. If you know my story you would know that I was sexually abused at a young age.

When my body began to change my abuser shaved me, and he would do this regularly. My body hair grows fast so every week he would come into the bathroom and shave me completely. I hated it, I hated having him touch me, so as to minimize the amount of touching. I started shaving myself and it just continued into my adulthood. As I thought about this I began to cry. My daughter wondered why I was crying.

In that vulnerable moment, I had 2 choices: lie about my feelings then stuff them down, or have a mature conversation with my daughter. I chose to have that tough conversation. My daughter, heck all my kids are extremely bright, and know when they are being lied to or pushed aside. In raising my kids, I have chosen to teach them like tiny people, not the “kids” society wishes us to bring them up.

Kids know more than we give them credit. They rebel because we treat them like the “kids” we think they are, rather than the tiny humans they are. So I told her about more abuse. She began to tear up and apologized about it. I told her there was no need for that and that I was sharing this to arm her to know what other types of people like in this world. I told her I wanted her to use this new knowledge to empower her not to be swayed by society or adults. I explained that I was able to get taken advantage of because in my generation we were told to blindly obey our parents and adults.

Photo from: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/want-a-smooth-safe-shave-every-time-try-these-10-tips/

We all know that saying “OBEY YOUR PARENTS & YOUR ELDERS” “IF AN ADULT TELLS YOU TO DO SOMETHING YOU DO IT”. Well, we weren’t told what to do when we knew our elders were wrong. I was 4,5, 6-16 when I was abused, all my abusers were ADULTS, ELDERS, and a STEP-PARENT. So the rules engraved in my skull opened up to be preyed on, over and over. But that’s for a different conversation.

I finished our conversation by telling her that she should get to know her evolving body. Then when she’s older access and decide whether she wanted to shave because she preferred smooth skin, rather than trying to keep up with society. Because society has taught us to hate our bodies, both in the same breath tells us we were divinely created by GOD. Well, if we really took this to be true, why do we on a daily basis work to “improve” GOD’s creation.

In my mind this implies that we think GOD messed up. But in all actually we were created perfectly and we’ve been conditioned to think we need to change our bodies to attract the perfect mate but we change ourselves only to continuously find ourselves in dead-end relations. Here’s a thought: why not wholeheartedly be ourselves to see what relationship we attract. Think about it you sit and judge couples saying why are they together, if they can find love why can’t I. Well, maybe they attracted that partner when they were in the original state that GOD created them to be in. Food for thought. But again this is for another post.

Closing thoughts, live your life as you please don’t feel as though you have to shave because society does not want to see your body hair. Because in fact society as a whole needs therapy. It is highly recommended that we unlearn everything we were taught and wipe the slate clean. So you may wonder where I stand on the question. Well, I believe it is your personal preference. I shaved for my boudoir shoot however, I myself now do not shave. I trim and keep my body hair clean and neat. Does my husband mind?! No, he said grown women have hair. So there you have it you don’t need to shave to attract a spouse.

Go out into the world beautiful women and be your beautiful natural selves.

Photo from: https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/nike-armpit-hair-campaign